ive made a few friends ,anna who is just immense, her fella neil who is just more metal than a studded metal door, sian whos just sweet and awesome and ..i could go on. i love my band except for fucking lewis who is a GIANT KNOB WHO THINKS HES AMAZING BUT COMPLETELY SUCKS HARD GAY BALLS. and there is an int. student who looks a lot like somebody ...sombody known and sexy...fiona insists the fact i have a crush is because of said resemblence but i liked him before i noticed that so pfffffft. dont know what to do though whenever i ask him to town the horrible mistake that should have been nothing more than a jizz stain on the bed and never concived that is lewis interrupts me.

hello ,im a music student now, i tend to rock out in drop c# or drop c however for college i have to cover a bit of the ol veronicas and shocking shite like that. Heard dirus new single its sicker than a black metal pig puking menstural blood, but thats a good thing.
weirdly the heavier they get the gayer die gets, now there all deathy blacky metal hes flaming.
and kaorus just getting sexy ,sexy in the alex varktzas way, before atreyu left victory. yeah .....THAT FUCKING SEXY. Dir are so good at metalcore/blackish deathish metalcore.
then again i love metalcore not the shocking abomination that is bring me the horizon i mean the good stuff. which reminds me
GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY GLASSJAW TOUR IN JANUARY glassjaw are fucking back! so fakes posers and the useless types who make a poor filler replacement of them (bmth etc) can FINALLY FUCK OFF

i checked out the manson guitar site...the squier tele custom (dont let the squier throw you ,its been modded by the same guy who makes matt bellamy's guitars)its beautiful and it comes with a killswitch ,fuzzfactory ..etc ..well...its been bellamy'ed what do you expect
BUT IT HAS TO BE THE ONE WITH HUMBUCKERS
i cant stand the shitty single coil ones that look like shovels

please stop giving warner your money. they buy out indie labels and proceed to muscle in and destroy them they also craftily deny involvement (you can find out who owns a label by checking the small print about distribution on a cd eg dir en grey cds note fws distributor as universal,warner do not do this) they are crooks. universal leave the labels alone most of the time with regards only for profit,as do sony. however warner ,and emi for that matter,want bands to be 'current' and have 'mass appeal' so they buy a huge chunk of a labels shares and break it. A LIST OF SO CALLED 'INDEPENDENT' OR 'DIVERSE' LABELS OWNED BY WARNER ; roadrunner,reprise,atlantic, i will add more later as i unearth more. If you dont see the problem then look up roadrunner post 2006 wikis has a good article clearly posted by a victim of their sudden cuntage eg korn were right wing pre 2006 then they did the vid to evolution ....see what i mean? Warner let green day do there thing on reprise and then drone the attitude into less skilled songwriters when it sells. Thing is i love green day so by boycotting warner i shoot myself in the foot but thats what the nets for. Btw its warner that wants to take away free downloading which i think should be made legal so people can choose to buy local /indie labels and not get duped by warner and emi (i dont mind universal,strong dist. And they keep away sony.....im on the fence about)

note; A,dont read this ! This is about my own personal exp and isnt aimed at anyone in paticular but some of it will offend you. I fucking love you to bits but im not going to approach this subject with you anymore. /Note right im on my phone so the grammars going to be sketchy. But why do these groups exist ,for one its a dumb idea. As a anti media socialist headfuck im not against people living their lives i just find it stupid and un informed that dumb shit communites and groups ENCOURAGE people to PUT THEIR LIVES AT RISK to be who the media wants them to be. Its dumb why would you starve yourselves to make corprate worshipping magazine lusting fools like you? I say this cos that was me till i discovered punk rock and not caring. Yeah i take care of how i look but only so i feel good but these bitches used to come up to me "oh man,your hot i wanna look like you" fuck you. Hot isnt looking like with 2 sticks and notation wedged in the mouth you could play poly wolly doodle on the ribs ,thats not hot thats what people look like in poverty,why when people are dying of hunger all over the world would you insult them so by spending what you do have on corprate clothes and toys and not food? Pro ana groups; a dumb idea thats an insult to those with the illness and an insult to the genuinely starving.

weight; about 7 and a half years since drug consumption; 3 time since last self harm; 1 year ,im doing well huh? why btw do people feel the need to lie,its not like ill get mad one example "yeah i smoked some crack" "its your body,just dont overdo it cos id miss you" simple,thats who i am. getting lied to makes me feel stupid yeah im gonna care of course but i aint gonna fucking stop you. so dont make a twat of me. ill still be your mate of course and love you dearly ,and im not THAT angry. But as for this subject were done,any thing else is fine. but dont bitch and moan to me when your hair starts falling out and you get depressed,ive been there i offered help and rather than just say no which i would have accepted ,you lied.

i saw in your lj about ancafe. and youve been a bit down recently and after the ancafe thing i havent seen you on msn,are you okay,i know how much music can mean to people sometimes and im worried,comment or msn me just try and keep smiling,at the min that might be hard to do but erm its what emo-glitter-queen totchi would do/often does so do a toshiya and try and stay optimistic ,im worried

H.I.M ,DIR EN GREY,MSI,AT THE DRIVE IN,BAYSIDE,GLASSJAW,JARVIS COCKER,FINCH,REFUSED /INTERNATIONAL NOISE CONSPIRACY there ends my plugs for the week oh and CKY CKY CKY CKY CKY CKY CKY CKY CKY

how to set love in stone ; 1- tour with the object of your affections band 2- ensure h.i.m are also on said tour 3- let object of affection take in all of h.i.ms romantic lyrics 4- propose 5- ????? 6- PROFIT (or should that be Bandit) Gerard way you sly dawg, it worked though the lucky sods married to lyn-z and dad to her bb the lessons here....h.i.m IS love,no matter how smart/badass/hard rocking/hot the woman is,if its h.i.m she is not immune that and Gerard Way is a genius

hows this for the most ironic layout ever? im dark and deep but SHEEEIT I AINT GONNA GO ALL GOFFICK BRO

where to start? well a guy asked me to go see a movie with him,he does once a month but chickens out,then comes around again,like he cant get me out of his head. its cute,cute and flattering. my bros a complete dick btw,why is it that assholes have all the luck and those who strive to be good people 9 times out of 10 get shit on. im not complaining though at least not yet. oh and dirus playing a bunch of super old songs on the current tour BRING THAT WITH YOU NEXT TIME YOU COME OVER HERE FUCKERS. aside from that ive been trying to enjoy life,hey you only get one! unless your a buddist but even then you'll only be like.......a tapeworm....SO ENJOY LIFE. Cos its heartache every moment,from the start to the end oh its heartache every moment with YOOOU DEEPER INTO OUR HEAVENLY SUFFERING OUR FRAGILE SOULS ARE FALLING ITS HEARTACHE EVERY MOMENT ..........etc etc

btw does anyone wanna help me get £650 together i wanna buy dies signature guitar, cos im in love with it

i think the people on the covers of glass skin and venus doom are related......with like gormless faces open massive mouths and there all expessionism and shizzle .....its a CONSPIRACY

i wonder how other people deal with it,i mean i just eat what i can and work out when i can. im not controlled im not even aware ,i just know that a lot of weight wouldnt suit me ,but now i think on it i struggle its been 2 years since i was discharged from ed therapy and i still battle,i dont want my friend to get too addicted i dont want her to know this hell,i spent 4 years starving myself almost to death,i knew it got bad when i fainted after boxing class. i never want to get that bad again 6 stone went from target to near tombstone now i might have trouble having kids years from now and ive been left with bp. please ,my friend,dont get that bad stay above the weight i told you control diet if you must but 7 and a half stone is your limit to stay healthy,ìf you get sick its a chain reaction you take care of me too okay? XD

of dieting of depression of everything. im hardly eating and my mum keeps making dig after dig and i feel like im being worn down by depression which makes it worse and triggers frequent downers,if it werent for what sept will bring and alice id probably have started self harming again. so from today ill try and eat more and think positive despite nothing i do being 'normal' or 'right' and ill charge on without 5 or so useless 'friends' who dont care shit all about me and only claim to when i have them about it

"i wish the cameraman would stop zooming in on random grebos,i wanna see dir.....oh wait thats kaoru" i jest i jest! i fucking love that dood and he has a gorgeous in-person smile. seriously it turns your gut acid into warm butter.

ill be honest i like h.i.m i like the fact not all rock about lurve is emo self indulgent shite. so me and a friend are having a chat,mostly in caps about being h.i.m fans at 15 and how the strange naked painted men have followed our fandom choices from funeral of hearts to kasumi. but someone else wasnt happy with such lighthearted love metal banter so has a go at me for some shit on here,sending me into a paranoid self councious downer where i had to tell a friend i was terrified of losing that i had a lot of things wrong with me. thankfully we laughed about it and i made a awesome joke about my former therapists and our shared issues,which im trying to help her through cos i know how hard it is to move on from it. lighthearted valo banter is fun,learn to laugh.

Fuck ,paranoid.but its not like any of them liked me anyway so yeah peep the lj,know im fucked up ,use me to gain something material then leave, all 'friends' do

i use this to keep track of my bi polar,it tricks me i have days where i wish i was 15 again and days where i want to move forward. i get mad at the music of bands i love cos it speaks too truthfully. i love dir,i also love h.i.m without finding ville sexy,i love mcr but when i feel lost and scared about my huge potential failure of a carrer choice i get panic attacks and i lash out in thought at the reasons im doing it cos im so fucking scared,this could fail badly,this could trigger my bp badly and i could lose control and kill myself,and i dont want to die till i can kick my tits. im so scared and my family dont know how to support this choice,my friends mostly dont care and i cant find musicans serious enough ...i feel like ive already failed. i wish i wanted to be normal ,married and numb to political outrage and darker emotions like everyone else is or will end up being,i worry so much,will the songwriting and constant emotional confrontation drive me insane? will i be dead at 25? will i ever fall in proper love? so yeah i lash out cos some days im ANGRY AT THESE FUCKERS

blame the song 21 guns for my return to myself,guess you could say i had a 21st century breakdown